a few nights ago, when I had trouble sleeping, I went outside and sat on my balcony for some fresh air. Suddenly, I saw my shoes hopping down my steps, as if leading me. I followed them to my backyard and waited for what was to come. There was a sense of electricity in the air, and the friendly scent of lilac. My confusion was peaking when I saw a massive object glowing translucent green land in front of me. I shouted, "what the..!" and started to investigate. A large door slammed open and an alien wearing pink, fuzzy glasses strangely attracted me inside. I felt possessed. Drugged. Like someone else. This cannot be happening! I was just in the safety of my home and now I'm trapped in a UFO! I looked around and saw who else I was trapped with. I saw a big yellow bird, seemingly from a children's television program, a small dog, Robert DeNiro, and Tila Tequila. Everyone had a look of confusion on their face, even the shitzu. DeNiro stood as still as a statue. Ms. Tequila made some suggestive motions toward me but I paid no attention to her nonsensical ways. Suddenly, Rihanna's "Umbrella" came through the loudspeakers and the alians started dancing the night away. The robot, the mashed potato, the macarena, these aliens were retro. It was just then that Big Bird reached his breaking point and pulled out what looked like a gun from his left wing. DeNiro started laughing hysterically and threw the McDonald's cup of whatever he was drinking at one of the aliens. Ms. Tequila was now doing something inexplainable to the small dog. Big Bird reached the edge of his sanity and shot an alien in the head, leaving a grotesque maroon explosion. The aliens shouted "please don't stop the music!" to which DeNiro replied, "are you talkin' to me?!" The aliens seemed so impressed by DeNiro's performance they dropped me back off in my back yard with Big Bird, DeNiro, and the dog. For some reason they kept Tila Tequila...
...and I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.
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