Why I Deserve 110% in EWC 4U1

Because I rawk.

=D

The ONE Celebrity I Would Love To Fight...

Iron Mike Tyson... aka Mr. Nuttier-than-squirrel-sh*t

If I would fight ANYONE... it would be Mike Tyson.

I figure you only get one shot at fighting a celebrity, might as well go for the TOP.

Mike... you're not the best ever. You USED to be. You USED to be the most brutal and vicious champion there has ever been. No one USED to be able to stop you. There USED to be no one who could match you. Your style USED to be impetuous and your defense USED to be impregnable. You USED to be feroicious and you USED to want me heart. You USED to want to eat my children. Not now Mike, not now.

Let's face it Mike, you're washed up. I would totally dominate you. And this is a FIGHT, not a boxing match, so be prepared for some roundhouse kicks to the dome.

That is all.

And Mike, if you're reading this, I love you, please don't eat my inevitable children.

<3

aww.

DIALOGUEE (w/ 20 fave words)

Dave: flirtatious banana!
Dan: banana pulp!
Dave: clever!
Dan: truly.
Dave: ascendingly spirited?
Dan: somewhat ecstatic?
Dave: bamboozled!
Dan: victorious!
Dave: glockenspiel?
Dan: special.
Dave: tumbleweed?
Dan: fantasmic.
Dave: a panting plethora of constructiveness?
Dan: exactly!
Dave: quite.

My Favourite Possession!

My iPod.

This little piece of technology has provided me with countless hours of entertainment, insight, and comfort. Basically, it just RULES. I rarely leave home without it, even when going out with friends, family, and especially when gymming. Overall there's really much not to say about this thing other than my life wouldn't be complete without it... and it rules.

me.

What I'll be doing when I'm 75 years old...

HOPEFULLY, at 75, I will be one of those freak-of-nature grandpas, who run 10 kilometers every morning before hitting the weights and bench pressing their admiring grandkids. You know the type.... case in point: Jack LaLanne.

beast.

I also want to be one of those incredibly intimidating old farts that spend most of the day on their porch with a 1960s shotgun and a rockin chair, sippin black coffee, and telling the neighbourhood kids to screw off with my raspy, chain-smoking voice.

bad. ass.

Overall I think I'd make a pretty awesome 75 year old. And live a life full of sunshine, rainbows, and hummingbirds... with shotguns.

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings."~William Wordsworth

The above quote is something I would typically agree with in most cases, however I do believe Wordsworth was slightly off in his simple definition. Yes, poetry, as it is known today, is renowned for the freedom and means of expression it grants the author. However, I believe poetry (ex. Shakespeare) was made for the sole purpose of entertainment to the readers (or, in this case, viewers). So while yes, poetry is an absolutely fantastic means of expressing oneself through literature, this is not all it's about, and it's important that any beginners to poetry beware of that common misconception and allow themselves to truly understand the talent it takes to write ten or more pages following a strict and certain rhyme scheme, for the means of entertainment, not solely expression.

This is all.

=)

24 HOURS TO LIVE... WHAT DO I DO?!?

OMG I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THAT THERE'S ONLY 24 HOURS LEFT TO LIVE...
I'M GONNA...
I'M GONNA...
I'M GONNA STOP WRITING THIS BLOG! THERE'S NO TIME!
AAAAAAAHJGHGJGGHKHU>LG:OUIHDWPFHD"WSF
fg
sdugsdgf
digbdf'
gsd\r s]
tg
bn

How To Stay Physically/Mentally Fit!

• maintain healthy relationships (with friends, family, and your significant other ;))
• sleep
• eat well! (aim for healthy food for 90% of your meals, pig out on the rest!)
• limit fast food to once per week
• keep an active love live
• laugh.
• be happy!
• wake up early, don't be lazy
• exercise 3x per week
• drink lots of water
• keep optimistic no matter the situation
• love.

My Dinner Party!

Okay! Hosting a dinner party for 10 people dead or alive! Who to invite! The possibilities I guess are endless, like.. literally! Alright, let's get down to business.

GUEST ONE
NATALIA SANDIC
--because she would yell at me if I didn't invite her...

GUEST TWO
BRUCE LEE
--of course I gotta have the great one. Even though he probably won't each much or understand anyone else at the party, once I break out the nunchuks -- entertainment all around!

GUEST THREE
VLADE DIVAC
--legend! He'd bring the booze and cigarettes :)

GUEST FOUR
BOBBY DHALIWAL
--he makes everything better...

GUEST FIVE
KNO (from CunninLynguists)
--Kno just seems like a wicked cool guy and I'm a bigger fan of his music than would be comfortable to admit. He'd provide the background music for the party.

GUEST SIX
THOM YORKE
--the lead singer of Radiohead would just be an interesting person to have around. Oh, and a Thom Yorke/Kno collaboration would be earth-shatteringly epic.

GUEST SEVEN
BIG BAD JOHN KIJONEK
--if you have to ask, then you will never understand.

GUEST EIGHT
ANNE SELLORS
--I would invite the great Anne Sellors to hopefully reprise her role in the 1984 TV Movie "Threads" as the Woman Who Urinates Herself. Perhaps one of the most memorable characters in cinema history.

GUEST NINE
ARES
--I'd invite the Greek god of war to get into a drunken fight with Bruce Lee... ahh if only...

GUEST TEN
MS. HYDE
--because she could never understand the awesomeness of this party unless she was actually there...

A curse or a gift?

Let's see... what would the benefits be if I could see into the future? What are the drawbacks? Hmm this is really something to put some thought into.

If you could see the future.. you could avoid all possible accidents that might happen by only leaving your house a few seconds earlier or later... like that woman who rear-ended my car this morning on my drive to school. Ughhh.

But I guess if you could see the future it would mess with your heads, seeing as all your loved ones would die. You would even know the exact date and time of your own death, a LOT to handle.

Would seeing the future mean seeing what would be on all your tests and exams?

That'd be pretty awesome I'd say.

You could also see breakups way before they happened, but would that make it easier or harder?

You could see the winners of any sporting event and make a ridiculous amount of money placing bets accordingly!

Hmm so I suppose that there are a LOT of pros for this power, but in all honesty I don't think they measure up to the truly earth-shattering cons. So while this might be a gift for most people, for me this would definitely be classified as a curse.

How The F@*% Did I Get Here?

As I sit here in the ancient computer lab of room 150, I feel the need to reflect on my life, and, in turn, my future. It is looking very likely that I will be attending McMaster University for Business come September, but why Mac? So look back with me as I reflect on the eventful past few months of my life, leading to my post-secondary decision to attend Mac. So why am I going to Mac?
Because my Dad bought me a car.
Why did he buy me a car?
So I could go to Mac.
I wish it was more complicated, really.
Why is he so set on my going to Mac?
'Well I guess my parents are what you would call "overprotective," with me being an only child and all.
Why am I an only child?
I don't really feel comfortable discussing the intricacies this answer yields...
Why don't I feel comfortable?
Uhh, well. It's just kinda personal isn't it?
Why are you ending your answers with question marks? What's wrong with you?
GODDAMMIT INTERVIEWER LEAVE ME ALONE.
Why are you getting hostile?
I'm going home...
*exit*

MADNESS!!! (word of my break)

My favourite time of the year!
MARCH. MADNESS.
64 teams in a battle to the end!

it changes people.

I finished all the homework I had over the break before it started on Thursday afternoon.

Then, tip-off.

Do you know how hard it is to be interesting on the phone with your girlfriend while trying to pay attention to three really close games that are being played simultaneously? in between hitting the gym, eating, and spending time with the lovely Natalia, the NCAA tournament was my life.<3



Wisconsin over FSU?
bobby?
bobby?
bobby?

HIGHSCHOOL (Verbal Diarrhea)

Highschool pencil shavings lead replacements study sessions stress tests "quests" physics lonnie paul bobby dhal loves life but is depressed bitten fingernails clenched bowels im on a boat holla at me francais mme majetic backpack ecstasy pencilcase graphing calculator schmuck no country for old men initiation cancer patient basketball after school eastdale mr murray hey hows it goin not too bad you eeexcellent goth kids gamer kids gangster kids hardcore brrap staredown friends foes kamran arshad gentle big bad john kijonek absolute legend stock genius tsx down 500 points strong buy 1.0 late nights drunk fights bright lights fluorescent maybe computer lab nothing working damn keyboard sticky letters lashpell huggies questionmark horoscopes big mac food fat washington needle marks just kidding verbal diarrhea pepto bismol write moar write moar write moar stephen draper 1 walker 0 canadian tire how embarassing highschool life laughs most important love<3

The Encounter...

It was a brisk Saturday morning when I decided to walk to my mailbox, for I had not been in weeks, and I'm sure some bills were currently unpaid. As I put the key into my corresponding slot, I felt the wrath of hell smash into the left side of my body. When I regained consciousness, I saw that Usain Bolt himself was standing over me to make sure I was okay.

Apparently, when we collided, the speed was so colossal that we actually created a small black hole on the sidewalk. Usain managed to grab me and to pull me out just in time. The mailbox that was previously located there was not so fortunate. As if I could care about my bills now.

"Sorrie bouddatt mon! Izyu gon b irie?" he asked me.

"What the F@$K are you doing in Winona?!" was my reply.

Even though the left side of my body was completely paralyzed, I stood slack-jawed, in awe of this glorious athlete.

"Well yasie, ah ran 'ere, ay b in trainin fer me nex 'tition mon!"

"You ran here from Jamaica?" I inquired. "How does that even make sense? Jamaica's an island dude."

"Lissen nao ya lil fawkr, ay hitcha ryde onna bakkadat Phelps bwoi azzy swam frum Jamehka ta Flahridda"

Okay, whoa now. Is Usain Bolt cursing at me? F***ing AWESOME. How often does someone get in a banter with an international celebrity? I decided to take it to my advantage.

"You're such a 'rudebwoi,'" I told him. "How did ya get so fast anyway? All that practice runnin' from da po-pos?"

This is where he punched me square in the face. I just got punched in the face by Usain Bolt. Usain Bolt. Punched me. In the FACE. I love my life. Paralyzed and beaten, I could do nothing but watch as the Jamaican wonder ran into the sunset. It was only then I realized how late it was, how long I must've been knocked out for, and how I have to come home to tell my parents that our mailbox fell into a small black hole.

Overall, my encounter with Usain was memorable, even if he was a bit of an ass. But hey, if I was the fastest man in the world, I would be too...

...mon.

My Five Favourite Fables of Fiction =)

1. Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai (1954)


Seven Samurai does not have a complex storyline whatsoever, which is what makes it beautiful. A poor farming village under constant attack by bandits hire seven unemployed samurai to help them defend themselves. Seven Samurai is, in my opinion, the first epic film ever made. With a total runtime of 3 hrs 27 minutes, it is not a film for everyone, but those who watch it shall be greatly rewarded. It has some of the finest characterization ever put on screen, and is virtually the perfect film in every way. Each character is fully developed and unique, and Kurosawa's meticulousness shines in every frame like the swords these men carry. Long live Kyuzo<3 (the most BADASS samurai EVAR.)

2. The CunninLynguists' A Piece of Strange (2006)


A Piece of Strange is by far the most influential album I've ever come across, and what I consider the defining album of my youth. It is a concept album, and through music, tells the journey of a man down on his luck, enshrouded by darkness, that eventually clears his mind and sees "The Light" (track 16). The true beauty of the record is shown through the way each individual song can stand on its own, but it is only when they all come together that the story begins to unravel itself to the listener. There is no absolute. Countless interpretations of this record have sprang up all over the internet and a website has even been spawned @ http://whatisapos.com/

3. Ken Kesey's One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1963)


OFOTCN is considered a classic novel, and with good reason. At the time, writing about inmates of a mental asylum was greeted with great controversy. Ken Kesey made all of his characters likeable (with the exception of antagonist Nurse Ratched), not an easy task when the majority of the novel's personalities are mental patients. He made the protagonist, Randle McMurphy, likeable, even though he was only in the mental institution to avoid prison time. When Randle is strangling Nurse Ratched near the climax of the novel, Kesey's characterization lets the reader actually want Randle to succeed in killing her. Another interesting facet of the novel is its narration. It is narrated in an almost omniscient sense, but the narration is actually coming from Chief, a character that is virtually ignored by everyone else in the novel.

4. Sony's God of War (2005)


God of War. Enough said. Sony's kickass game won numerous awards and deserved every last one of them. It is a personal favourite of mine because of how well it immerses the player into the story. The flawless controls, epic camera angles, vivid gameplay, and pounding score seem like they were created by the Gods themselves. Greek mythology has always been a fascination of mine, as I think it is one of the most fascinating fields of study on earth. The story is compelling. The characters are larger than life. God of War is a must-have.

5. Sergio Leone's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)


Last but certainly not least, is Sergio Leone's magnum opus. Like Seven Samurai, the true beauty of TGTBATU lies within the simplicity of its plotline. Three men set out to find a buried treasure. That's it. Also, each character is not exactly who they seem. The Good (Clint Eastwood) can occasionally be caught doing some terrible things. The Bad (Lee Van Cleef) is sometimes a nice guy. And The Ugly (Eli Wallach) is just, well, nevermind. Sergio Leone was the first director to play with the harmonious marriage of the right piece of music to the right clips of video. When Eli Wallach's character is manically running through the graveyard where the treasure is buried, and Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstasy of Gold" is playing as the soundtrack, it is truly a sight to behold. All of these reasons and many more is why The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly kicks gratuitious amounts of ass and oozes with awesomeness.

You Would Never Have Guessed This Happened But... (Writing Exercise)

a few nights ago, when I had trouble sleeping, I went outside and sat on my balcony for some fresh air. Suddenly, I saw my shoes hopping down my steps, as if leading me. I followed them to my backyard and waited for what was to come. There was a sense of electricity in the air, and the friendly scent of lilac. My confusion was peaking when I saw a massive object glowing translucent green land in front of me. I shouted, "what the..!" and started to investigate. A large door slammed open and an alien wearing pink, fuzzy glasses strangely attracted me inside. I felt possessed. Drugged. Like someone else. This cannot be happening! I was just in the safety of my home and now I'm trapped in a UFO! I looked around and saw who else I was trapped with. I saw a big yellow bird, seemingly from a children's television program, a small dog, Robert DeNiro, and Tila Tequila. Everyone had a look of confusion on their face, even the shitzu. DeNiro stood as still as a statue. Ms. Tequila made some suggestive motions toward me but I paid no attention to her nonsensical ways. Suddenly, Rihanna's "Umbrella" came through the loudspeakers and the alians started dancing the night away. The robot, the mashed potato, the macarena, these aliens were retro. It was just then that Big Bird reached his breaking point and pulled out what looked like a gun from his left wing. DeNiro started laughing hysterically and threw the McDonald's cup of whatever he was drinking at one of the aliens. Ms. Tequila was now doing something inexplainable to the small dog. Big Bird reached the edge of his sanity and shot an alien in the head, leaving a grotesque maroon explosion. The aliens shouted "please don't stop the music!" to which DeNiro replied, "are you talkin' to me?!" The aliens seemed so impressed by DeNiro's performance they dropped me back off in my back yard with Big Bird, DeNiro, and the dog. For some reason they kept Tila Tequila...

...and I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.

The B.S. Life of a Tickle Me Elmo

Hello.

My name is Elmo, and people of all ages and races partake in the disgusting activity of tickling me for their own pleasure. I'm here to say one thing and one thing only: keep your bloody hands off of me.

I do not enjoy being tickled, as everyone knows it is not a pleasurable feeling whatsoever. I'm typing this to inform everyone to just leave me alone. Tell your snot-infested, bottom-feeding, STUPID children to BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE. Tell them to go play with Barbie. Or better yet, Buzz Lightyear, because God knows my patience has been stretched to infinity and beyond. If I have to laugh again while a booger-fingered-brat gropes me in places that are not meant for strangers, I will report him to the FBI and sue the parents for sexual harassment.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL BEING TICKLED AGAINST YOUR WILL NONSTOP FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF OTHERS? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL BEING THROWN ON THE SHELF TO COLLECT DUST WITH OTHER CHILDREN'S MEMORABILIA? STOP THE G**DAMN TORMENT ALREADY. E. NOUGH.

I hereby tender my resignation from earth.

P.S. Tell that yellow bird I never liked the cut of his jib.

Goodbye cruel world.

"Elmo... just Emo with an L."

FIVE BOOKS I WOULD GLADLY EAT.

1. The Biggest Dictionary on the Face of the Planet

Why? This is for all those people... the people that told me at one time or another, to swallow my words. Well, here I am. It's going down like Nelly's Country Grammar. Oh. Yeah. It would probably taste exuberantly titillating.

2. Life of Pi

Why? I just love the irony of eating a book in which the main character has no food. Ha. Ha. Haaaaah. Oh Piscine. I think it would taste like... pie?

3. Long-Term Survival in the Coming Dark Age: Preparing to Live After Society Crumbles

Why? Just in case...

4. Mr. T: The Man With the Gold : An Autobiography of Mr. T

Why? "Because ahh pity da fool dat eet ma book!"

Sorry, T., you gotta go...

5. Men's Health Magazine

Why? PROTEINNNNNNNAH.

The Most Vivid Memory of My Childhood.

The Year:
•1996, four years of age.

The Setting:
•a blisteringly hot, sticky midsummer day.
•the backseat of my godmother's old Lincoln

The Purpose:
•a trip to K-Mart

It was mid-July, and I could not have been more care free if I tried. My days typically consisted of playing soccer with family friends and strolling throughout the dangerous ghetto of Winona without worrying that I wasn't "keeping it real in the streetz," because there was no doubt that I was. No one on the block had a trike quite like mine, but that's neither here nor there. Then, one especially warm morning, my godmother, Mira Zrakic, came to our house. This woman loved me and took care of me as if I was her own offspring. I can't count the number of days spent at her house, under her supervision, eating her delicious meals, and being showered with her numerous gifts. This day, however, was different. This day would eventually become the source of my most vivid childhood memory.

My mother interrupted my play to tell me that I was going somewhere with my godmother. I stopped what I was doing just as her huge, gray, Lincoln rolled into our driveway. It was a particularly busy day, and our fruit stand was populated with customers looking to satisfy their hungers and their daily requirements of fruits and vegetables. My godmother stepped out of the car, and I ran to her ecstatically, and gave her the largest hug of my career as an infant. I was waiting in the back seat of the Lincoln as her and my mother conversed, most likely exchanging recipés. I looked around, and to this day I remember the sights, smells and feelings of that moment: my mother, with her now-shorter-and-grayer long black hair; my neighbour's children flying a pink and yellow kite across the street; and a man carrying a box of tomatoes from our fruit stand to the trunk of his small red car. I remember the hot feel of vinyl to my skin on the inside of the Lincoln, and how small my body appeared in my eyes in her spacious back seat. I remember what was said to me when my godmother sat in the driver's seat: "Dudu, we're going to K-Mart." At four years old, K-Mart, to me, was the Mercedes of toy stores. It was like entering a new world, one with high shelves and an endless supply of the latest toys and must-have commodities. I remember running into K-Mart with my godmother walking behind me. I remember seeing the toy that changed my childhood. A large, purple and green plush toy, that went by the name of Barney. I had that toy for years, and loved it wholeheartedly until the day my mother gave it away to a less fortunate child. The day I acquired Barney was one of the happiest days of my life and the one that I, unflinchingly, am able to recall every detail of.

25 Things I Enjoy Writing About!

1. Myself
2. Technology
3. Mountain goats
4. Poetry
5. Dexter
6. Proper Nutrition
7. Films
8. Media
9. Chuck Palahniuk
10. Awards of any type
11. Fear
12. The Wire
13. Honesty
14. Basketball
15. John Kijonek (Legend<3)
16. The Dark Knight
17. Cars
18. Shoes
19. Hip Hop
20. Controversy
21. Pain/Sadness
22. Jovana (my cat)
23. God of War
24. Flowers
25. The opinions of others

About The Author :)

BLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOGBLOG.

I'm new at blogging, so this should be fun =)

Shortly before five o'clock in the afternoon of a chilly November day a man is briskly pacing up and down in the waiting room of St. Joseph's Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario. Perspiration seeps through his pores and his anxiety peaks. His watch seems to have stopped ticking, or so it seems. The anticipation is colossal. He turns his head at every staff member walking by, just hoping for a glimpse of acknowledgment. Eventually, just as the last bit of his patience is depleting, a doctor touches him on the arm and says: "Mr. Vukobratovic, you have a perfectly healthy baby boy. Congratulations." That man was my father. If you haven't guessed, the baby was me :)

In all seriousness, I'm Dušan Vukobratovic and I'm a 17-year-old student currently in my final year of attendance at Orchard Park Secondary School. I have two very loving, very foreign Serbian parents who think "HIV" is a music store. I am surprisingly cautious about the way I live my life. I have never been bungee jumping, nor have I broken any bones. I have never traveled the world as much as I would like to yet (save for a few countries). I lead a quiet life that revolves around my friends and family, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I have a passion for movies and music of all genres. My name has been mispronounced more times than the Chinese alphabet but it's the name I was christened with and the name that represents who I am.

I have taken Writer's Craft to really broaden my horizons in the realm of writing. I am by no means a weak writer, yet I know there is still a great deal of room for personal improvement. Hopefully, by the end of the semester, I will possess all the traits of a good writer, most of which I feel I already have.

Shout-out to EWC4U, love you all<33



~Dušan